• Good start on balance, but I am not as sold on the offense as many other ND fans are.

Gripping and ripping is a lot more fun when your quarterback can get outside the pocket and throw it 60 yards on the run.

High scoring teams have a mix of big plays and long drives. The Irish are halfway there.

• On the other hand, I am not as down on the defense as many other ND fans are. Tackling was better than we’ve seen in a while, and the new guys acquitted themselves well. Blown assignments are a correctable concern.

As it pertains to the defense, I’m more concerned about plagiarized assignments.

I’d be fine with them plagiarizing from Austin Collinsworth’s playbook.

• Returning punts could be a thing.

Right now it could be just a rumor. We need confirmation.

When it comes to special teams, we need the other six sacraments too.

• “And I know that sounds counterintuitive of what the game is with, but I wanted our guys to play fast today,” Brian Kelly said after the game. “Don’t get out there and try to think too much.” Physician, heal thyself.

So the head coach believes that ND players think too much…. Just one more way that the football program gets screwed over by the admissions department.

Devious bastards.

• Speaking of thinking too much… Bob Davie, who appears to be dealing with the same academic restrictions at New Mexico that kept him from succeeding at Notre Dame, opened his weekly press conference with an awesome display of how well he grasps mathematics. “ I would say 100 percent, if I had to get out on a limb and make a guess, 100 percent of the coaches in these press conferences are encouraged. That’s the great thing about this game is that every year everybody is 0-0 starting out. A bunch of us trying to be 1-0. Fifty percent will be 1-0, and 50 percent will be 0-1.” Pithy comment not required.

He’s Yogi Berra with none of the charm. 

Oh, come on. Davie is so charming he belongs on a bracelet.

• I’m glad that C.J. Procise got another chance.

I wish William Fuller would have gotten another chance. The route he ran to score his touchdown can actually be found in the play book.

I’m just glad Everett Golson got another chance.

• Navy is an Under Armour client. Uh-oh.

Um. Too late.

That’s the basic version, but the lads are being encouraged to accessorize in the most lad-like way.

• “Ben Koyack, the big tight end…” Are there little tight ends?

It’s to distinguish them from the cheerleaders.

And the new Irish Guard.

• Encouraging stat of the day – Notre Dame’s running backs averaged 6.75 yards per carry. Cam McDaniel averaged 5,88 ypc, Tarean Folston 5.91 ypc, and Greg Bryant 8.88 ypc.

Another encouraging stat: 6 for 6 in the red zone, including 4 touchdowns. 

Final encouraging stat: 7 touchbacks.

• I wish 1NDGal hadn’t written papers for those guys.

It was either that or take one for the team….five times.

And.

• Darlings of the Pundits Watch: South Carolina 28, Texas A&M 52.

Nice to see that Johnny Football’s production was so irreplaceable.

As irreplaceable as the genius of Steve Spurrier.

• Notre Dame should note which reporter asked each question when it publishes the transcript of the postgame press conference so we can mock the appropriate people as they so richly deserve. For example – “Q. You and the coaching staff have worked so hard during the off season on punt return and kickoff return. It certainly paid off today. Can you talk about that?”

If we want to discern which ND football beat writers deserve mocking, I think we can narrow it down to all of them.

“Narrow” doesn’t apply to Eric Hansen.

• This week’s Hardin Award nominee for publishing a nominally true but worthless statistic is an easy call. David Satterfield, Michigan’s Director of Media Relations, distinguished himself with the shameless claim that Michigan has won 11 national championships. Appropriately, given that this is recognition related to Michigan, this week’s nomination will be split with the NBC production team that failed to vet the claim and the NBC broadcast team that was gullible enough to repeat the claim on television.

Delusional. I think we can all safely discount any “championships” that predate not only UM’s theft from Princeton of their winged helmets, but that also predate helmets. Besides, I noticed that Michigan’s first six claimed championships rely on the same dubious source.

Jive-ass dudes don’t got no brains anyhow.

• Ahead by 9 points in the fourth quarter and facing fourth and one at the Virginia 27 yard line, UCLA decided to go for the first down. Fine… until the Bruins lined up in an empty backfield shotgun formation. I was in the fetal position before the play’s inevitable outcome.

They’re getting used to it all over the country, I guess.

Just so I can plan into my golden years, how long does it take to get used to it?

• The Irish have won each of their last 21 games when rushing the ball at least 30 times, and they are 30-2 since the start of the 2002 season when they have gained 200 or more yards rushing. May I have an “Amen!” for what next week’s game plan needs to be.

We also ran only 66 plays, well short of Kelly’s stated goal of running 90. Why do I have the nagging suspicion that he’ll concentrate on the latter metric rather than on your more telling one?

Because birds gotta fly, fish gotta swim…

• Notre Dame should beat teams from low level conferences by four touchdowns. Do it again next week.

After blowing so many winnable games against very beatable Michigan teams in recent years, I’ll take any W we can get; style points be damned. 

I can live without them, but I really do love style points.

Bacchus

Kayo